Fuck, I'm not even going to pretend that this entry has any purpose other than to let me just vent like a loose cannon held by some guy with an itchy trigger-finger and a hair trigger.
So fuck you dad, you no good fucking son of a bitch. You think that just because you are my father, that you have the goddamn right to fucking lecture me about shit that you have no fucking clue about? What the fuck happened to eighteen years of neglect huh you fucking asshole. What happened when you fucking left my mom and ran away and fucking left us for shit you fucker? Oh so now that mom's dead you think you can just fucking waltz back in, exercise your authority as my father, and pretend that eighteen years of shit would just suddenly disappear?
Don't go fucking lecture me on work you piece of shit. If my grandma didn't get you this job right now you'd be fucking home mowing the garden and smoking and drinking you fucking ass. And now you have the fucking guts to tell me that I'm being too lazy? What the fuck do you know? You don't know shit. You never call until I call you, and yet here you are, complaining that I don't tell you about my life. What the fuck is there to tell? If you are so interested, then why don't you fucking call me instead? But no, you think you have the credibility and the respect to just lecture me. But here's the truth, I fucking work more than you do you lazy son of a bitch. I never woke up late for work, never shirked my duties, never became irresponsible, never did anything that you did.
Look at you, you are pathetic. You are almost fifty, you should've been a college professor with your fancy UCLA history PhD degree. But here you are, working as some secretary in a dead end job, and here you are, lecturing me on my future. Your life's wasted dad, you have no where to go, nowhere to run. I can't give you any respect, because you don't deserve any from me. Eighteen years dad, eighteen years, you can't just walk in and do what you want. I won't fucking let you. I don't owe you shit.
And the only reason that I even acknowledge you as my father is that I feel that mom would've wanted it this way, although even she too realized what a fucking asshole you are. But I don't want to offend the dead, so you are still my father, but only in name dad, only in name. You can't tell me what to do, because to me, you are just another stranger, another person who made my life worse than what it could've been. There is no forgiveness for you I'm afraid, so don't fucking look for one from me.
Yeah, you won't ever read this, but to me this is the end. I've said all that I feel like saying, but like always, you are not there to listen. So fuck you, this is the end of the road. From now on you can do suck a dick, you fuck. And no, this isn't the first time you dared to do this, but this is the one that put me over the edge. The last thing I needed to hear was for my no-good, semi-alcoholic, negligent father to lecture me on work when his future is wasted. I won't take this shit anymore.
Posted by humanflyz at July 10, 2005 08:53 PM | TrackBackMike, I am your father.
No but seriously, you'll be alright. I know because I too have a hypocritical belligerant sperm spitter. It will soon blow over superficially, but you and I both know that realistically, their position of fatherly superiority is slipping. We both know that being responsible sons, we can't actively and publically start shit, even though we know damn well we could. Take solace my dear friend, salvation, or in my case, damnation, is only six weeks away...
Would you look at that...I posted something.
Posted by: Kevin at July 11, 2005 12:39 AM